The Varr: A Special News Report by David MacDonald

My oldest son, David, had to write a report for his writing work shop. Always a champion of my boys talent and imagination, I wanted to share this with you, my readers. Here it is from the mind of MacDonald:

Angelina Jolie Abducted by Aliens, US Government Refuses to Negotiate With Terrorists

When famous actress Angelina Jolie did not return to the set of her latest film one afternoon a frantic search began in the hopes of finding her. Her car was found on the top floor of a parking garage a day later, the doors locked and the interior burned to cinders. No body was discovered.

Two days ago a message was broadcast to the people of earth by a species of extraterrestrial beings. They claim to have abducted the actress in order to negotiate with the people of earth. Their demands: only the frozen wastelands of Antarctica. In return they would give us back Angelina Jolie and promise to help restore the environment and keep the poles frozen. Some would say this was an excellent deal.

The Bush administration however refuses to negotiate with the aliens, claiming that they “… will never negotiate with terrorists of any kind, and that is exactly what these aliens are, terrorists.” A move most of humanity considers absolutely retarded.

The extraterrestrial species, calling themselves the Varr, were at first confused and upped their original offer, promising to share technology with the potential to end world hunger and create a super efficient form of clean energy.

The Bush administration again refused stating that no matter what they offer the aliens are still a terrorist group and that if they did not return Angelina Jolie they would take immediate and appropriate military action against the hostile organization. It was then that the people of the world realized the Bush administration was bound and determined to end the world.

Civilians and military personnel alike have risen up to crush the suicidal regime that the presidency has become. Angelina Jolie is still in the care of the Varr who have been politely asked to wait for sanity to be restored to the United States government before continuing negotiations. Bono of U2 is upset that this also takes precedence over ending world hunger and misses the irony of this completely. The Varr are very confused.

While the US reorients itself, the rest of the world has already accepted the offer, the Varr however refuse to begin anything without the acceptance of all world powers. As such the world is pushing the new US government to quickly settle itself and accept the Varr’s offer.

The people of the world are split many different ways in their views of the new species. Oddly most view the matter with the same casual indifference that has marked this age of humanity. A few people as always fear and hate the Varr for being different. Some see them as Gods and a new cult has already formed based on worshiping these newcomers. Some people are curious and hope to foster good relationships with the new comers to the planet.

Comments

[Tina Deprey]

Hi, Lisa and David

I must say very talented! I received the email this morning at work and I was very happy to say the least. I always love to read and watch whatever the young generation has to show and offer to the older generation. I can say that many times I have been showned many idea and other way to look at things in the life that we all live today. Anyhow, great job David and I look forward to reading the sequel.

Take care
Tina Deprey

[Gabe Mounce]

WoW! That's very well written! How old is David? I love the political satire (I think it's satire, right?) running throughout. I hope it's well received at the workshop.

Thanks for sharing,
Gabe Mounce (I came here via your comment on Dan Ward's blog)

[Mark Randall Kilburn]

IT'S A COOKBOOK!!!

[David]

Hey this is David, I wrote the paper, and I'd like to say thank you to everyone who read this. So thank you, I appreciate you taking your time to read my work.

~David MacD.

P.S. Cookbook?

[Jari Loisa]

Very good! I enjoyed reading it very much!!! Great work, hope to see more in the future