A Personal Note

Yes indeed, it has been some time since I've been here to write, to review, or to point my gentle readers toward some worthy site or blog of interest.  I haven't read any blogs and now find that since my disappearance on November 21, I have 1065 unread blog posts over at my bloglines reader.  I don't think, however, I can apologize for my absence as this blogger/designer needed some serious R&R. 

I will share with you now the fact that the months beginning in January of 2007 consecutively walloped me quite a few personal blows - a flooded basement ( seriously... 2 feet of water!) started off the year only to be followed by broken indoor plumbing pipes resulting in a completely water damaged bathroom, kitchen and basement.  There was also a broken car, the 8 month clinical depression of a loved one, the gutting and rebuilding of almost the entire first floor of my home, a broken furnace, broken water pump...Wow water was really not my friend!  It was a challenge but meanwhile business was going great.  My clients, I hope, never knew about my personal challenges (unless they are reading about it now) and it was work that was my bliss and my escape.

There were days and nights when I was sure that I was going to die from stress.  I slept with a paper bag next to my bed because often anxiety and worry would cause me to hyperventilate.  I was frightened all the time.  I found myself daughter to a mother with Alzheimer's disease, a mother to 2 teenage boys, a best friend, a business woman, a designer, a girlfriend, a homeowner, sole bill payer, and chief bottle washer.  Without the support of my sons and my friends, I don't think I would have made it...AND I did it without the help of drugs...perscription or otherwise.  I am titanium... well almost... we are all breakable, aren't we?

Sooo... the advent leading to 2008 found me preparing for Christmas, finishing up year end business and still...omg...still working on my house!  It was a big push to prepare the house for the holidays and (I swore) to greet 2008 on a better footing.  It was a mission and we all worked very very hard at making it a home again.

Being forced into such a reactionary mode for so many months, I determined that 2007 was the year of WORK. Many good things came out of 2007. Not that I want to experience that again...but I believe I've built a lovely nest for my sons with pretty painted walls, new appliances, safe heating, decent plumbing, and a lot less extraneous "stuff" cluttering up our environment (a lot of our personal belongings were destroyed by flood or indoor shower.)  My loved one who was so so sad during the first months of 2007 is now singing, playing music, laughing, and lighting up a room with his smile. Yeah... that is really nice.  Somehow we survived it and came out all the better for it. 

Every five years, I make a 5 year plan for my life.  I list out 4 or 5 major goals and work toward them...sometimes taking baby steps, sometimes taking giant leaps.  I've been pretty successful in this goal planning thing and have managed to meet most if not all my set goals.  2008 finds me with the task of setting up a new five year plan.

Having drank a glass of champagne to bid farewell to 2007, I greeted 2008 as the year of SELF IMPROVEMENT or PLAY.  How very strange when I visited the design firm of Cummings & Good and received my new 2008 Calendar which the design team entitled PLAY...how did they know?   

Back in 2007, I would find that my mind was often so cluttered by garbled random thoughts that I was unable to complete a thought or absorb any new topic.  Reading (one of my greatest pleasures) even became unmanageable...simply skimming the lines written on any given blog, website, book or magazine...comprehension ZERO.  I didn't go out to eat or go the movies.  I took no vacations. I went to the beach only once during the summer.  Days were filled with the thoughts of work or reconstruction or a fear of what on earth was going to happen next. 

Declaring 2008 as the year of self improvement and planning out my next five year plan is refreshing. I tell you it is almost like a rebirth.  I'm excited again. My mind is at ease... (for the most part as I believe it takes a bit of time to recover from chaos.)  During the Christmas holiday, I slept alot.  I took bubble baths. I read an actual book!  I got neck and body massages.  I was surrounded by love.  I'm looking forward to 2008 and the next five years reading and writing, developing my business toward Europe and Canada, learning new design skills, and taking care of myself.

I wonder if I'll actually have the courage to push the button here and publish what are some rather personal thoughts on a blog which has thus far been mostly a business/professional venue.  I suppose sometimes you just have to be honest and admit the fact that while yes we are professionals, designers, writers and artists; we are also people just trying to get through life.  It was Anaïs Nin who said "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." So with that thought... I push the "publish" button and send happy 2008 thoughts out to all of you.

Comments

[The Dan Ward]

Hey, welcome back!

I love the idea of linking self-improvement to play. I'm sure you're really on to something there.

I think it was Jerry Harvey who asked the poignant and pointed question "Have you ever known a competent doctor, preacher, teacher, (etc) who didn't have a sense of humor?" (or something like that). Play, fun, peace and improvement/competence all seem to be linked, don't they?

Best wishes to you in 2008. Have fun and keep in touch!